Day 16 - To Love You Without Expectation, Planting My Days With Hope

It was a beautiful May afternoon.

While out for a walk, I got it in my head that I wanted to buy a house. This one was on the same street, but it was much bigger than our little red house on the corner. Our kids (two of them at the time) would have their own bedrooms, and I'd have a pretty front porch.

It had just come up for sale. I couldn't wait to tell Michael about it, but at the same time I suspected that he might nix the idea of increasing our mortgage. He seemed to like our humble abode and didn't mind that it was a bit squishy.

I couldn't stop thinking about it. Or dreaming about the garden I'd plant in the back yard. It was a cute little yard, with a barn style shed, a traditional clothes line, a raspberry bush, and a patch of wildflowers near the back door. The entire back yard was bordered with grape vines that had been there for decades.

I had a plan.

I went home, got down on my knees and prayed one of the most earnest prayers that I can remember. I didn't ask God to give me the house. What I did ask for--and I remember being quite specific about this--was that I wouldn't get into a fight with Michael. That was my request. Above anything else, I wanted peace.

I wanted to have a good conversation without tempers flying. If Michael agreed with me--bonus, and if he didn't? I was willing to give up my dream and stay put.

After dinner we sat down for a talk. You know what happened? Within minutes Michael was furious. I don't know exactly why, but for some reason this was the conversation of conversations that set him off. Our talk didn't last long; we both started shouting, and there was no way we were buying that house.

That night, after Michael and the kids went to bed I sat on the couch weeping and praying. I can't tell you how disappointed I was. The one thing I wanted more than anything was to get along. The house didn't matter to me anymore, I was just so upset that things had turned as ugly as they did.

I had tried to be kind and considerate. And with everything in me I tried to avoid fighting with him, but things got out of control. We were both left hurting over a stupid thing like a house.

As much as I hate to say it, I was disappointed in God. How could something I brought to Him leave me so hurt and confused?

The next morning Michael got out of bed with full intentions of buying that house. Something had changed him. He wasn't the same angry man that he had been the night before.

Since then I've learned a big lesson when it comes to the Lord: not to question His wisdom, which is far greater than mine. Even when I think that He's not at work in my life, He is--just not the way I might expect it or hope it will be.

My job is to go about my day planting seeds, but I am not the Master of the field, God is. A flower doesn't bloom because I want it to, it blooms in it's own time according to the will of God.

In the morning sow thy seed, and in the evening withhold not thine hand: for thou knowest not whether shall prosper, either this or that, or whether they both shall be alike good. - Ecclesiastes 11:6

Loving our husbands is a gift we bring to the Lord with an open hand. We don't know whether our marriage will prosper because of the changes we make. All we can do is hope and leave it in His capable hands.

But I will promise you this, even though you might not see the fruit of your labor--God is at work. He hears the cry of your heart.

Plant your days with hope, and leave the heart work in the hands of the Master.

Today's Vow: To Love You Without Expectation, Planting My Days With Hope

The Challenge: Do your part to love, honor and respect your husband, but patiently leave the heart work up to the Lord. 

You are loved by an almighty God,



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