Marriage, the way that God designed it, should be a reflection of our relationship as a church to Jesus Christ. The Bible tells us that a man is to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it.
Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it. ~ Ephesians 5:24-25
When we consider everything that Jesus did for us only then can we see the responsibility that is placed upon husbands.
They whipped Him, they spat in His face, they ridiculed Him, and finally they nailed Him to a cross. His response to all of that was grace. He didn't come to condemn us, but instead He lowered Himself to the level of a servant and washed His disciple’s feet. He came in humility that we might be saved.
Yes, the Bible tells us that the husband is the head of the wife and that the wife should submit to his authority. With that in mind we should remember that submission is a choice that we make. It's not something that is or should be imposed on us. It is a choice we make out of obedience to God because ultimately EVERYTHING we do should have a focus on Him and His will. There’s a reason we do it, and that reason is to please God.
Yes, the Bible tells us that the husband is the head of the wife and that the wife should submit to his authority. With that in mind we should remember that submission is a choice that we make. It's not something that is or should be imposed on us. It is a choice we make out of obedience to God because ultimately EVERYTHING we do should have a focus on Him and His will. There’s a reason we do it, and that reason is to please God.
This idea of a woman submitting to man is illustrated in the story of Esther. Because Queen Vashti refused to submit to the King his anger was fueled against her. It was then that a decree was sent out that all women would give honor to their husbands Esther 1:20. The symbolism in that story is that the bride of Christ must be in submission to the King.
The purpose of marriage both then and now, is to reflect the covenant between Jesus Christ and His church.
Throughout the Bible, Old Testament and New, you'll see it said, "I would have obedience and not sacrifice.”
Throughout the Bible, Old Testament and New, you'll see it said, "I would have obedience and not sacrifice.”
And Samuel said, Hath the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams. ~ 1 Samuel 15:22
You see it’s easy to make a sacrifice to the Lord, but to bring our lives under obedience to God—that’s where the real challenge lies.
The Jews were ready and willing to make sacrifices to God, but rejected the authority of Jesus as their King. (This was paralleled in the story in Esther). It didn't make sense to them. Why would they hail a poor carpenter's son as their King? A child born in a manger? That was foolish. Their God--according to their expectations--would be a mighty warrior, not a lamb that was led to the slaughter. This expectation was the very thing that got in the way of their faith.
But we preach Christ crucified, unto the Jews a stumbling block, and unto the Greeks foolishness; But unto them which are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God, and the wisdom of God. Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men; and the weakness of God is stronger than men. ~ 1 Corinthians 1:23-25
And so when we submit to our husbands we are reflecting the relationship between the Jesus Christ and His bride (the church). That relationship is formed by accepting the wisdom of God and Jesus Christ as our King.
It may seem foolish to many when I submit to my husband, but the foolishness of God is wiser than ours.
Are we second class? Absolutely not, and no, every argument isn't our fault. But there will be times when we communicate in every way possible, and our husbands still don't see things the way that we do.
That's when we can honor God by stepping back in humility and letting our husbands take the lead.
Today's Vow: To honor you as the head of our home
The Challenge: While you honor your husband as the head of your home, seek ways to encourage him in his role as a leader.
You are loved by an almighty God,
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Thank you so much for this post. This is something I struggle with so much. Not that its hard for me to honor him by being submissive, but sometimes I lose sight of how to honor God by doing it. I am saving these verses to remind me that simply by being agreeable and non-confrontational I'm not truly honoring my husband. Communication is still vital, and I honor him by communicating my needs and frustrations effectively.
ReplyDeleteThanks out Holland :-)
ReplyDeleteHi Darlene, thank you for your articles, they were and are a great help for me and my marriage. I hope you don't mind if I place your logo with link on my blog, it's a food blog in Romanian, but maybe somebody else speaking English will visit you and be inspired by your advices. Thank you, Mihaela
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! No problem.
DeleteThis point was on point, sister!!!!
ReplyDeleteI love, love, love the way you reiterate: marriage between husband and wife should reflect Christ's relationship with the church.
Beautiful!
Here is a bit of honesty. I appreciate your wisdom and ministry, it is vital in these days where hard things are swept to the side and new adventures are sought out as better or easier. My husband is older than I, a disabled veteran, a smoker since he was 12 years old. We have been married for 37 years and have great days and bad days. He, being a man, desires to be respected, lusted after and honored as man of the house. He takes very good care of me, provides financially for me, does not physically abuse me or demand things of me that are inappropriate for a Christian woman (anymore). He is hygiene impaired. He smokes, does not shower or change his clothes, causing migraines or chest congestion for me. He goes days without shaving or showering, refuses to wear his teeth, or use mouthwash. I have gone through the blaming phases, nagging phases and simply asking him to wash or put teeth in. No matter what approach I use, I feel impotent. I do not desire him as my husband often, and would love advice or help. I do pray, humble myself, ask for help from the Lord, but do not feel victorious in this area of my life. I appreciate any help. Thank-you, Gail O.
ReplyDeleteGail, my heart goes out to you. Sometimes in a case where I've walked the same path I'm able to draw from my experience, and to encourage where I have learned to grow. And other times I feel that I have nothing to offer but a word of prayer and a listening ear. My prayer is that God will bring you wise encouragement. I also pray for the health of your husband. May God provide you both with strength and encouragement so that you can face each day with joy.
DeleteThank you for these words. As a "modern, independant" woman, I have struggled with this for a long time. I feel like you have finally put it in words I can understand (though maybe I'm finally in a place in my life where I CAN understand). I am looking for ways to encourage him as our family leader!
ReplyDelete