"This is all well and good, if you're from the 1950s." At least that's what they say.
When Michael comes home from work I like to have dinner ready for him. Something he likes. I'll take a few extra minutes to pull my hair up into a bouncy ponytail, and put on one of my prettiest aprons. If I'm so inclined, I might put on a bit of makeup--nothing much, maybe a touch of mascara, a little blush, and some lip gloss.
I tidy up the house and try to have all of my chores done by the time he arrives. It's my way of showing him that I care for our home and I care about us.
Sometimes I'll get a little sappy and run my fingers through his hair or cuddle up with him on the recliner. Another way of showing him how much I care.
"This is all well and good, if you're from the 1950s." That's what they like to say.
The real question however is, what does the Bible say?
The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. - Titus 2:3-5
When did loving others and making an effort to please them go out of style?
Earlier this evening my husband and I hosted our Bible study group. By the time our company arrived at 7pm the house was clean, the tea was hot, and the brownies were cut into squares.
Little did they know that I had spent the afternoon vacuuming, sweeping and scrubbing the toilet. They also didn't know that I had pulled my hair up into a bouncy ponytail just minutes before they arrived. Did they need to know? Not really, all that was important to me was that they felt welcome in our home.
We're so used to impressing others in our society. But when it comes to impressing our husbands people are suddenly taken aback. Surely we must have "June Cleaver Fever."
Romans 12:2 instructs Christians saying, "Be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."
Some people take that to the extreme thinking that we have to dress differently. And yes, we might have to dress differently if our clothing isn't pleasing to God. But the heart of the message is this: we are to dress and to act in a way that conforms to God's will, whether this social system considers it normal or not. We cannot let pop culture dictate the way that we live or the way that we love.
Whether you're from the 50s or living in 2013, God's instructions for marriage are every bit as wise as they always have been. That's what I like to say.
That's all for tonight, ladies. I've got a husband to cuddle!
You are loved by an almighty God,
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Wonderful Post, thank you! I too try my best to have dinner ready, snuggle or just sit beside my husband (he likes that). I am working on the "tidying myself up" before he gets home part, lol. :)
ReplyDeleteAmen! LOVE this. Being married at age 20 and now at 22 and a mom to a 9 month old baby, it's even more anti-cultural to be {and WANT to be} a stay at home wife & mom and to love to clean and cook and care for my husband and son. Thank you for the encouragement and reminder from Romans 12:2!
ReplyDeleteKeep up the great work! I was married at 20 as well. I am also a stay-at-home wife and mom. At 30 and now mom to 5 children, I have to say this is the greatest job ever! Now even more fun with Pinterest ideas! :-)
DeleteIt is the greatest job ever! Serving and loving those closest to us each day. Not always easy, but always important. Cheers to you both!
DeleteI personally think that your dead on! God himself tells us that he NEVER CHANGES.. His standards are always the same.
ReplyDeleteYou better beleive it.. That means that he still holds all the laws from the old testament.. The only exceptions or changes that we are to follow to those laws.. are the ones that JESUS changed.. or Apostles wrote giving directions CLARIFYING.. God's intentions in those laws. Because Yes once Jesus had come he had issued Grace. Grace however doesn't change how truely HOLY our God is!
And all of this is said to point out to you, me and everyone.. The same God who says women are to be silent in the church.. Is the same God who says women are to be in submission. He also says women are to be the keepers of the home and the raiser's of the children.. So frankly when were not doing those things which he CLEARLY directs us. HOW ON EARTH do we think God is ok with us..
Just for the sake of stating it.. He also tells us women to bridle our tongues because he mentions how CONTENTIOUS we can be... not just you.. not just me.. not some women and not others.. ALL OF US!
You'd have to throw away the entire book of Galatians if you think that Born-Again Believers are still under the Law of Moses. Along with most of Acts, Hebrews, Colossians, and Timothy.
DeleteI'm new at the Christian life, so please forgive me if this question comes off as obtuse.
DeleteWe're supposed to be silent in church? Like...no speaking at all? I do quite a bit at my church, and a lot of it involves communicating with, y'know, other people. :P
Your insight is appreciated!
I just want to clarify my understanding of Old Testament/New Testament Laws. The wisdom of the Old Testament will always stand true, but the "laws" were a covenant between God and the Jewish people. They were put in place to show them how great their sin was. So many sacrifices had to be made for all of the different sins of the people. They were countless. But the beauty of them (and I LOVE reading Leviticus!) is that they were a shadow of what was to come. The symbolism in each one of them was incredible, and the more that we study them the more we see how Jesus Christ fulfilled each and every one of them.
DeleteWhen Jesus Christ died on the cross He gave His life to us for an atonement of sin. He fulfilled the law of the Old Testament. In other words He paid that debt for them. For all of us.
For he is our peace, who hath made both one, and hath broken down the middle wall of partition between us; having abolished in his flesh the enmity, even the law of commandments contained in ordinances; for to make in himself of twain one new man, so making peace; - Ephesians 2:14-15.
The New Testament is the new covenant between Jesus Christ and us, the church. He reinforces so much of what was said in the Old Testament, such as loving your brother as yourself and loving God with all of your heart.
The confusion that a lot of people have is because they mix the old law with the new.
That's not to say that we should ignore the Old Testament. It's so important to study it and compare it to the new so that we get a perfect understanding of God's plan for man. But it's important to keep things in context.
About women being "silent" in church. Many say that this was a cultural things. The custom of the day was that men would sit on one side of the church and women would sit on the other. A problem would occur when the women would disrupt things by calling over to their husbands. However, if you want to know more, it's always good to study in depth and pray about it so that you are seeking God's truth.
I love receiving your blog posts each day by email. They touch my heart as we have so many values in common. I love my "June Cleaver" role in our household. My Hubby loves being greeted at the door with a smile and a kiss. He knows how much he's missed and how glad I am that he is home. Wonderful blog!
ReplyDeleteThis is just the beautiful way I want to live, every day for my husband. I *am* an old-fashioned girl and do strive to be at the door when my Mr. comes home ... but I guess I can work a little harder at the "pretty wife" thing. :) I have one of those dear husbands who calls me beautiful all the time anyway, so I sometimes forget to doll up for him. Thanks for the encouraging reminder. I sure do love the lessons I'm learning by being a subscriber to your blog. Thank you so much!
ReplyDeleteI wholeheartedly agree! However, we need to remember to give ourselves some room. Somedays it just doesn't work out the way we hope. Somedays when my hubby gets home the house is a mess, I'm a mess and I have no idea what to do for supper. I enjoy being able to provide and clean and pleasant environment for my children and my husband. And I do make it a goal, however we need to be able to extend some grace to OURSELVES when that just cannot happen. God isn't looking down on us if our house isn't tidy and we haven't made supper by 5:30. I don't think that is what you were implying, but for anyone struggling with insecurity about God's love, or the love of others, this can be easily misunderstood. We have to remember that God loves us no matter what our houses look like. No matter our cooking skills. He loves us and blesses us so that we may be a blessing to others. In whatever way God choses to use us.
ReplyDeleteTonia, God is okay with us! Of course He lets us know what He expects of us,and we should all make every effort to obey His law, but we all fall short of Gods expectation. That is why we need grace! and his grace is sufficient! He chooses to be okay with us if we are willing to humble ourselves!
Thank you for posting things such as this always at the right time. It's been hard for me listening to a lot of people make snide remarks or cut me down because I quit my job to focus on my home and family. Being a stay at home wife, and (soon to be!!) mom is important to me. I love to cook and clean and care for our home and for my husband. When we got engaged, I received a copy of your book "The Good Wife's Guide", and fell in love with it. I read it and re-read it on the same vacation. People thought I was nuts and wondered why I wasn't 'offended' that I received a book that 'demeaned me'. Sigh, if only others understood that I'm NOT stuck in the 1950s, I'm glorifying God and lifting up my husband! Thank you for being an inspiration and source of comfort. Love and Blessings, Kate
ReplyDeleteI grew up in the 50s & 60s, and even though things have changed a lot since then, God's word never changes and is always true and always life-giving. My husband is my earthly best friend and I want to treat him that way! Great post, Darlene!
ReplyDeleteThis is so good, Darlene. I always try to have a candle lit when my husband comes home to set the mood of our home to cozy. God smiles on us when we make an effort to love our husbands by fulfilling His role for us.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I feel normal.
ReplyDeleteI love June Cleaver. I actually wrote a post once titled "Who's Afraid of the Big, Bad, June Cleaver?" She is hated, and for no reason. By Christians and feminists. I actually think she represents a worthy ideal.=)
ReplyDeleteThanks to Netflix, my family has watched every episode of Leave it to Beaver twice in the last year. I found June's character to be one who looked after the needs of her husband and children with care, creativity, and dedication. Her character is happy in the role of wife and mother and never disparages it. She gives counsel to her husband but allows him to lead the family. She uses her talents and skills in the home to bless them. It's not a Christian show, but the culture was quite different then; not post modern at all. I grew up in the 60s and am saddened to see today's culture bears no resemblance to that of the Cleavers' day. I think that those who are cynical and critical of June Cleaver would be the first ones to wish their mothers were just like her.
ReplyDeleteLove this word, Darlene! I actually wrote a somewhat similar post today on my own blog...based on one of my favorite (most convicting) verses--Colossians 3:23, "Whatever you do, do it with all your heart as to God." I believe this applies to our homemaking as well! Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.servingjoyfully.com/2013/04/21/do-it-heartily/
I love to serve my husband! Those who are "conformed to the world" probably think I am going to the extreme to make him happy. It is what I do and what I love to do.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate this encouragement. Every Christian needs to read their Bible. We all benefit from a little discussion to clarify and share with each other. Darlene your posts are truly needed! Thank you for serving God (and your husband) each day.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree....Women can be a woman by showing their husbands that they are the most important thing, second only to God....I have always been a "June Cleaver", or have tried to be....I have been a domestic Goddess for 33 years, and a happy wife and mother...I always have my hair done, makeup on, dinner on, house clean,....We became empty nesters a few years ago, so now we have plenty of time for those fun things married couples do, whenever and where ever we want to....haha....I think not just all the house things need done, but we need to please our husbands in the bedroom also...Wear that cute nighty, a little dab of body spray, teeth brushed, lip gloss......
ReplyDeleteSee the thing is, my hubby treats me like a queen so I love to please him in every way....I'm not perfect, but I try....
I honestly just think that it's great to please your husband/boyfriend/partner as long as he/she returns the favour! Relationships shouldn't just be one-sided and if you feel comfortable and appreciated that is really what matters
ReplyDelete