Guest Contributor, Lisa Jacobson from Club31Women
It's not easy being 14.
Especially when you're a girl.
And eagerly looking forward to the upcoming Hoe Down on Saturday night.
She had no trouble picking out a blouse or borrowing a western hat from a friend. But finding the perfect denim skirt? That was another matter.
Our daughter looked up at me with pleading eyes, "Please, Mama, can we go thrift shopping for a skirt? I have the outfit all pictured in my mind. Please....?"
Oh, how I wanted to help her out.
I mean, on the one hand, it wasn't a big deal, right? Just a Saturday night event at Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch. The Ranch of Rescued Dreams. But then again, it kinda is...when you're a fun-loving, teenage girl. And it's not been so very long that I don't remember what that's like.
So I honestly wanted to do this for her. But I couldn't.
My day was more-than-filled and I couldn't see how to pull it off. I tried to soften the blow and let her down easy. It's true, earlier in the week I had told her I'd take her. But what could I do....? Sometimes plans change.
I was searching for sympathetic words for the dear girl when I heard him speak up from across the room.
"I'll take her,” he said.
That would be her dad talking.
We both glanced over at him - somewhat surprised.
"Umm...Honey? You're so sweet to offer, but we're talking thrift shopping here. And this is a work day for you. And you have your writing deadline. And...." I had so many reasons why it didn't make sense. Why he shouldn't do it.
But it was already a done-deal. He was grabbing his keys and they were going.
I watched the two of them drive off and I wondered if she'd always remember that day with her dad. If someday she'd look back at the old photos and remember searching nearly every thrift shop in our small town. The perfect blue-jean skirt finally showing up at the last consignment store.
Happy smiles and holding hands. Daddy and daughter.
It wouldn't be the first time I'd fallen in love with that man. But watching him drive away with that girl of ours had me spinning again.
Funny what love can look like.
When I met my husband, I thought love looked like a tall, dark, and handsome man. Then it became a long, passionate kiss and deep conversations that went late into the night. Later on it meant holding a new baby in our arms and tucking sleepy children into their beds.
Now love looked like a busy man taking the day off work to rescue the small dreams of a young girl. Who is quickly becoming a woman.
I often thought of them - those two whom I love so dearly - throughout that day. And I prayed that our daughter would someday find just such a man. A good man who understands the hopes and dreams of a woman. The kind of guy who's willing to look after his girl. Who cares about her heart.
Hold out, my Darling, for that kind of man. He's worth waiting for.
I pray this for all our dear daughters. For mine and for yours too.
I pray that she will wait for a good man. That she'll know what love really looks like.
I pray that he'll be one who loves Christ and loves her too.
Sacrificially and faithfully.
Tenderly.
I pray that she will be cherished.
In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church (Eph. 5:28-29).
In His grace,
Lisa is the happily-ever-after wife of Matt Jacobson, literary agent and writer, and together they enjoy raising 8 children. Please join her over at Club31Women, a blog for any wife, mother, or sister who is looking for Biblical encouragement and inspiration.
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Lisa,
ReplyDeleteThank you for the piece. I know you wrote it mainly for daughters but it really spoke to me as well. I am a 28 year old widow with a 2 1/2 year old son. Some days I just want a husband so badly, a man to hold me. Your post today spoke directly along the lines of a blessed conversation I had with a dear friend over the weekend. Thank you for encouraging not only our daughters but those of us who are hurting, yearning, and lonely to wait patiently because he, and we, are worth it.
In Christ,
Jenny
My heart goes out to you, Jenny. You're right, of course, because even though it was written for daughters...it applies to all who are waiting. I pray God brings all that you need in your life and heart at just the right time. And I am so very sorry for your loss.
DeleteI know it's not easy to wait sometimes. I really do. I was nearly 27 when I finally met my husband and boy! was he worth waiting for. :)
DeleteWhat a beautiful post! I am a 19 year old single girl and this just reinforced what I should be praying for in my future husband- a man who I know will be so worth the waiting! I often need to be reminded that he will be worth the wait and this post did just that! thank you so much for these words. Blessings to you!
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love this!
ReplyDeleteSo encouraging and heartfelt. Thankful that I married an amazing man, who I know will be a wonderful daddy to our daughter.
Thanks for this! Having a lil daughter brings this close to home!
ReplyDeleteSheila Payne
ReplyDeleteYou live near Crystle Peak?!!!!!!! Oh I wish I did so I could go there for that kind of event. All of Kim's books are good but I love her first 2 the best.
I have a Daddy just like you described. I am now an old married lady and I think I remember ever Daddy Daughter date we had and there were quite a few. Special times.
Yes, we live very close to there and our daughter (the one in the story) volunteers there. It's a terrific ministry! And you're very blessed to have a Daddy like that - not everyone has that I know.
DeleteThank you Lisa...this was so beautiful and well worth sharing with my four daughters. Mostly, thank you for reminding me to see this in my own husband. Blessings to you and your beautiful family.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Lisa Marie, and we have four daughters too! Yeah, I think seeing my husband that day reminded me afresh of those special, loving qualities he has - and hope someone like that for the girls someday, as well. Blessings to you too!
DeleteYou've completely melted my heart with this one.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Lisa. This one made me cry. I didn't wait. Well, I waited - I was 32 when I married - but I didn't wait for this kind of man. Now I have a daughter, a son, and an abusive ex-husband. Like Jenny, I long, pray, and wait for a man who will love me and my children, truly as Christ commanded. I long for a man who will love my daughter in that way. Right now both of my children are without a positive male influence in their young lives and I pray that will change.
ReplyDeleteThis was great! As a mom of three little ones, I can totally relate to falling in love with your husband all over again. There is nothing like seeing a strong man loving his children with tender kindness. Thanks for sharing Lisa!
ReplyDeleteHi, I might be the first man to post here.
ReplyDeleteI too hope and pray for a good and gentle man for all women.
I heard a recent sermon from a wise, young pastor that reminded all women waiting for or looking for a good man, that you can have a relationship with Jesus today. And only Jesus is perfect.
Please don't put too much importance on having to have a man in your life before you (or your kids) can be happy and fulfilled. And if you create too much of an image of a perfect man, you might be setting yourself up for disappointment.
All men are imperfect and will fall short of a perfect standard. This isn't to say you shouldn't have a high standard. You absolutely should have a high standard. Just "don't try to get from your husband what you can only get from God". (That's a direct quote from the serman.) And make sure your husband gives you the same courtesy of not trying to get from you what he can only get from God.
Finally, (and sorry for the long post, just really have a heart for women who are longing for good men, when they are seemingly in such short supply) please lean on your friends and family and Jesus while you are waiting. If you get too anxious, you might be tempted to settle (certain you can "fix" him ;-) ) when the wrong man comes along and we all know the dreadful outcomes that has led to. (especially if you have kids)
Please deepen your relationship with Jesus (spend time reading the Bible often) he can lessen your anxiousness, and you will be dazzled by what happens.
God Bless!
(PS - they are out there. Don't lose hope!)
Wow, you have really summed it up for me as well, that is the ultimate prayer for my daughters. I have been happily married for 28 years, I met my husband in high school but we were not high school sweethearts. But I was fortunate to have met him again at 21, and we have been together ever since.
ReplyDeleteBoth daughters have yet to meet a wonderful man, neither one has dated much, My older daughter had a serious boyfriend her first year in college, but he moved away. My younger one has had a boyfriend in college as well, but for many reasons they are not still a couple. My daughters are 24 and 22, not in any rush, but I know that my younger daughter would love to be married and raising a family. I hope and pray that she and her sister will have the faith to wait for the right one to come along. Your story hit right at home for me. Thank you for the insight.