Michael deserves more than leftovers.
Leftover food? That's okay--especially when I've made something good like lasagna, chicken stir fry, or chili. Then I'll have him calling me the next day to ensure there's enough left over for dinner. In fact a lot of the things I make taste even better the second day than they did the first.
What I'm talking about today however isn't a matter of what's left in the refrigerator at the end of the day, it's about what's left in me. After a long day, do I offer him leftovers or do I put in the effort to be his companion and friend?
And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. - Ephesians 4:32Most relationships start out as friendships. We're gentle, kind, compassionate, and determined to win his heart. In a good marriage friendship doesn't end and you never stop pursuing his heart.
But the fact is that life is busy. We're driving kids to play dates, taking puppies to the vet, cooking dinner, making lunches, helping at the church, grocery shopping, caring for sick ones, bathing children, getting gas, cleaning house, doing laundry, pulling weeds, and the list goes on...
Who has the time or effort at the end of the day to keep giving?
The answer is found in the following parable, it's one of the best examples of kindness found in scripture.
Luke chapter ten tells us how a man was travelling from Jerusalem to Jericho when he fell among thieves. They robbed him, wounded him, and left him half dead.
A priest came by and passed on the other side. Then a Levite came by, looked at him and passed on the other side too.
Finally a Samaritan came by who had compassion on him. He went out of his way to ensure this man's safety taking him to an Inn where he stayed with him until morning. Before leaving he gave the inn keeper two pence and promised to reimburse any extra expenses the man might incur.
What stands out to me the most in this story is that kindness goes out of its way. It doesn't wait for an opportune time to give, but is ready and willing to drop what its doing to mend the heart of another.
The Good Samaritan offered more than his leftovers, and he offered more than a half-hearted attempt at mercy and kindness.
What does Jesus say about that? "Go and do likewise."
Kindness can be found in those moments when we pause long enough to reach out and show someone we care. Offer a smile, a phone call, or kind word of encouragement. Pick up on his love language and start practicing it. Little seeds grow in abundance when they stem from the heart.
But, you might say, my husband doesn't deserve it. And that could very well be true. It's not easy to be kind to someone who isn't kind in return, so why bother?
The answer to that is shown in the character of Our Heavenly Father. In Romans 2 we're shown that the intent of God's kindness is to lead us to repentance, therefore it makes little sense to withhold kindness from those who deserve it the least.
Do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance? - Romans 2:4It might not be easy--virtue rarely is--but it builds character in those who are exercised by it.
Finally and most importantly an unselfish act of kindness is a beautiful way to bring glory to God!
She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. - Proverbs 31:26
You are loved by an almighty God,
The schedule for this series
Week 1: Introduction
Week 2 - Purity Pt. 1
Week 2 - Purity Pt. 2
Week 3 - Self Control Pt. 1
Week 3 - Self Control Pt. 2
Week 4 - Love Pt. 1
Week 4 - Love Pt. 2
Week 5 - Diligence Pt. 1
Week 5 - Diligence Pt. 2
Week 6 - Patience Pt. 1
Week 6 - Patience Pt. 2
Week 7 - Kindness Pt. 1
Week 7 - Kindness Pt. 2
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Thank you Darlene, kindness truly is a choice and one that my husband responds to well, and he is kind with me. Kindness is transformative whether you are giving it or receiving it. I shared this post on our fb site Relationship_Restoration Ranch, because even after 37 years of marriage, we all need these reminders.
ReplyDeleteBlessings on you and the ministry He has given,
Jacquie
I love this! :) You are such a blessing to me, my life, and my (small) ministry. Praying for you tonight dear friend!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Mandy. Your fellowship is a blessing!
DeleteI totally agree with this post Darlene, however, I believe we all experience seasons in our life that it is just plain difficult to give our husbands everything we know they deserve. I am currently 37 years old, homeschooling 3 children 4,8 and 10 and pregnant with baby #4 who was a BIG, yet welcome surprise from the Lord. I have a leg that has very painful varicose veins and I am exhausted by 6:00 in the evening. I believe that part of what makes a Christ centered marriage is understanding our spouse may go through seasons when they just cannot give as they normally would. I love my husband more and more everyday, as I see him selfishly put his needs aside to care and nurture his pregnant wife. I am very good about communicating with him how much I wish I had more energy to give to him and I sneak love notes in his lunch box to remind him how much I love and appreciate him, however, if I had to deal with "guilt" for not feeling physically capable to serving my husband the way he deserves, that would make both of us miserable. Like every season, this too shall pass, and God will restore my energy and stamina to love and care for my husband as He has called me to do.
ReplyDeleteI love how you said, "I am very good about communicating with him how much I wish I had more energy to give to him and I sneak love notes in his lunch box to remind him how much I love and appreciate him."
DeleteThat's a beautiful way to show kindness. Gratefulness is always well received. Sounds like your marriage is blessed.
Thanks for sharing your wisdom with us.
Thank you for sharing your heart and wisdom!!! Also... I saw a major typo... selfishly, should have read, "selflessly!" OOPS.... big difference!! LOL Lots of blessings to you!
DeleteWe knew that. No worries. :D
DeleteOh my gosh! This is exactly what I needed to read this evening. Having 8 children, working, homeschooling, blah, blah, blah,......I'm exhausted at the end of the day, but my wonderful and hard-working husband deserves more than leftovers! Thank you for reminding me!! :)
ReplyDelete