Tuesday, October 22, 2013

102 Little Things That Say I Love You

It's true. We've experienced some sweeping moments in our marriage.

Like when we exchanged wedding vows on a lovely September morning.

When our first precious child was born.

Or when we learned that our fifth child would never walk or talk.

When he threw me that fabulous party for my 40th.

Or when I found him unconscious on the bathroom floor. Praying that God would spare his life.

Oh, we've had some big moments to be sure. But there are many days, weeks, and even months in between all those. Sipping coffee, heading to work, running errands, making dinner, putting kids to bed, and snuggling into each other at night. Little bits of love tucked into the everyday of our lives.

102 Little Things That Say I Love You

  1. Telling him about my day. The ups and the downs.
  2. Hearing all about his happenings too.
  3. Holding hands. Any chance we get.
  4. Saying hello with a kiss.
  5. Not mentioning the bad breath.
  6. Curling up against his warm back at midnight.
  7. Sitting next to him in church.
  8. And nudging each other when the sermon particularly applies.
  9. Warming up his side of the bed.
  10. Or grateful when he's already warmed up my side.

  11. Sharing a cup of coffee. In the early morning hours.
  12. Calling in the middle of the day. Just 'cause I miss him.
  13. Taking turns getting up at night. With a fussy baby.
  14. Waking me gently. With his soft touch.
  15. Laughing at his jokes. Even if I've heard them all before.
  16. Smiling. Because he's come home early.
  17. Heading upstairs together to put the kids to bed.
  18. Thankful when he's the one who's willing to tuck them in.
  19. Texting a sweet little message.
  20. Or maybe a slightly suggestive one.

  21. Cleaning up the kitchen dishes together.
  22. Standing by him. When he needs a friend.
  23. Staying up 'til midnight wrapping Christmas presents.
  24. Slow dancing. To an old love song from the 80's.
  25. Bringing him an aspirin. Because he refuses to take ibuprofen.
  26. Praying for his protection.
  27. Winking at me. From across the room.
  28. Folding his t-shirts. Just the way he likes them.
  29. Helping me zip up the back of my dress. A little too slowly, if you ask me. *wink
  30. Enjoying intimacy. Even when we're both rather tired.

  31. Admiring his good looks.
  32. And hearing his "Hello, Beautiful" too.
  33. Allowing him to take the baby. So I can get some much needed sleep.
  34. Kissing him on the lips. And staying there a little longer than necessary.
  35. Graciously overlooking that mistake he made.
  36. Falling asleep in his arms.
  37. Waking up by his side.
  38. Praying over me. While going into labor with each child.
  39. Hearing him announce, "It's a boy!" and rejoicing together.
  40. And, "It's a girl!" and rejoicing again.

  41. Staying up late watching a romantic comedy. My pick.
  42. Attempting to stay awake for his action flick.
  43. Packing his lunch. Enclosing a little love note too.
  44. Blowing him a kiss as he pulls out the driveway.
  45. Listening to his goals and aspirations.
  46. Sharing my hopes and dreams with him too.
  47. Asking God to bless him mightily.
  48. Laying my head on his shoulder. Because I can. And want to.
  49. Cheering him up. When he's had a hard day.
  50. Fetching a bowl for me. When I lose my breakfast....for the 5th time that morning.

  51. Wiping out the whiskers from his sink.
  52. Offering his coat to me at the restaurant. Because I forgot mine.
  53. Taking a hot shower. Together. 
  54. Thanking God for this man in my life. 
  55. Rescuing me in the Target parking lot. Since the car battery died. Again.
  56. Leaning into him. While we're kissing.
  57. Telling me I'm gorgeous. When I'm wearing sweat pants.
  58. Spreading toothpaste on his toothbrush. Or he for mine.
  59. Sneaking a bowl of mint chip ice-cream. After the kids go to bed.
  60. Offering a prayer for me. When I'm anxious in the middle of the night.

  61. Trimming the back of my hair. That place where I can't quite reach.
  62. Scratching his back. Although it's not my favorite thing to do.
  63. Warming up my feet. With his own warm skin.
  64. Listening to the rain coming down. Simply because it makes such a beautiful sound. 
  65. Wrestling with the Thanksgiving turkey. When it's too big for the oven.
  66. Kissing the top of my head. Even when I've been snippy. No, especially when I've been snippy.
  67. Throwing pillows at me. Just for the fun of it.
  68. But getting him back later. Because that's fun too.
  69. Hiking to the very top. Then looking down at the big, wide world together.
  70. Scouring the oven for me. Because I've let it go far, far too long.

  71. Searching for matching socks for him. In the dark. Before he leaves for work.
  72. Staying up all night at St. Charles hospital. Wondering if his father will pull through.
  73. Making plans for his mom to move in with us. When she no longer remembers who we are.
  74. Soaking in a deep bubble bath. The two of us. Or sometimes just for me.
  75. Taking the little boys for a hike. So I could have a quiet morning at last.
  76. Asking God to give him the strength. When he's hard-pressed with a deadline.
  77. Getting away for a few days. A romantic escape.
  78. Stroking my hair. When I'm troubled beyond words.
  79. Listening to him sing old Billy Joel songs. Don't Go Changing.
  80. Slipping away to a nearby cafe. An Americano for him and a lavender latte for me.

  81. Letting him hold me. When I can't help but cry it out.
  82. Sharing a Scripture verse with me. When I really needed to hear it.
  83. Running out into a hailstorm. Trying to save the tomatoes from certain disaster.
  84. Holding the screaming child in my arms. While he speeds all the way to the Emergency Room.
  85. Feeling the immense relief. When we find out he's going to be okay.
  86. Taking me for a scenic drive. When I'm desperate to get out of the house.
  87. Saying goodbye to our eldest son. Knowing that this is what we raised him for.
  88. Handing me a tissue. As I weep on the flight back home.
  89. Attending the family reunion together. Wondering who's the crazy one.
  90. Reading aloud to each other. When it's just too good to keep to yourself.

  91. Sitting on the porch swing. Saying nothing at all.
  92. Playing cards with his folks. Because it means something to them.
  93. Saying I'm sorry. Because I really, really am.
  94. Laying awake on the hard dirt ground. Questioning how he talked me into camping in the first place.
  95. Waking up by a still, blue lake, green woods and a small campfire. Admitting it was all worth it. 
  96. Forgiving each other. For the hundredth time.
  97. Then letting it go. Another hundred times. 
  98. Hitting the snooze button. And pretending for a few minutes that we've nothing better to do than snuggle in bed.
  99. Telling the world how thankful I am to be married to him.
  100. Blushing. As he tells everyone what a blessed man he is to be married to me.
  101. Celebrating each anniversary. Truly grateful for every year we have together. 
  102. Saying I Love You. Every day. Because I do.
Yes, most of our marriage is been made up of these tiny little things. 

Small things that simply say I Love You.

In His grace,

Lisa is the happily-ever-after wife of Matthew L. Jacobson, literary agent and writer, and together they enjoy raising 8 children. Please join her over at Club31Women, a blog for any wife, mother, or sister who is looking for Biblical encouragement and inspiration. 
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  1. I love this list! I have to say, even on our worst days, I am so happy to be married to my husband. Society makes marriage sound so awful, so after eight years of marriage, I'm still surprised how much I like it!

  2. I've been married almost 13 years to the most wonderful man ever! We've had some tough times (this year actually presented the toughest time yet) but we are still very happy together. I'm not sure if this is still true but I know at some time the top two reasons for divorce were finances and in-laws....well, we have lived with my husband's parents for the last 10 years because of our finances. God has been faithful though...as we have remained faithful to Him, He has always made things bearable.
    I cried my way through your list...realizing that my husband and I have an amazing marriage! Thank you for your ministry!

    1. Finances and in-laws. I agree but the overarching failure in my marriage was my stubborn refusal to admit whose place it was at the head of the household. With Him where He belongs, the worlds erosion can be withstood.

      No pray, no Bible study and doing what I thought was right in my own eyes; the consequences, no matter how sincere my own efforts, for a person claiming to be a part of the Bride of Christ were foregone. Christ puts the responsibility for all that squarely on the shoulders of the husband, and though it is one flesh of two persons equally responsible before the King, it is my failure. My accounting in this will include what position I've taken: did I promote or demote God in our lives? Did I bring us to a place of shameful, sinful actions or did my examples and cooperation promote godly goodness in our relationship with the Savior, each other and our child?

  3. Love, love, love your list!!! It sounds a lot like mine about the one I love - it truly is the little things in life that matter! Thanks for sharing

  4. List is truly nice. I'ts true that the little things in life are the things that bring much happiness into our lives but the sad part is that in reality no one really practices it anymore.

  5. This post made me smile! Uplifting marriage and recognizing the not-so-great moments all at the same time. It's the little things...

  6. This is great and very good stuff

  7. wow I have been blessed! 75% has happened in the first three years of our marriage. Thank you, God!

  8. This is a wonderful list! As a fellow mother to 8 and also married to my happily-ever-after hubby, John, I found myself checking off every one on that list! (We've had 23 years to work on it!). My challenge has been how to do many of these same things while he's deployed to Afghanistan. Time to work on items 103 and beyond!

  9. I've had two marriages, and could not get either one to do any of these things for me....and that is not an exaggeration. When I tried to do such things for them, it was usually ignored or rebuked, or taken for granted. Neither husband ever once said "I'm sorry" for anything. I am a simple person who needs very little. I would have been happy with 2 or 3 of these things, once in a blue moon. Never got any. Hence, decided it was best to be single. I'm still hopeful, and still believe it exists. Sometimes more so for others than myself, but I try to remain positive.

    1. I hear you. You can be a godly spouse but it still takes two to create the kind of joyful intimacy that results from all of these wonderful small acts of love and kindness. I did them for 14 years, hoping that he would eventually catch on to how good it felt to be loved -- but he never did, and 3 affairs and lots of heartbreak later, I'm finally giving up. :( Happy for everyone who has this kind of marriage, but I can commiserate with those sad and godly people who are giving their all and getting NOTHING in return.

    2. I'm in the same situation and 33 years old i have three beautiful kids there are times I have though of leaving him as I pardon an affair and many more things that I have found but in many times I feel I have given and nothing in return he always in his cell and I am already tired he never said sorry many times I feel like the love I had for him is gonna and in many agruements he told me that the only reason he came back was cause of the children I have heard this over and over that I don't feel happy I feel like we are leaving of appearance only.

  10. I found this article via a link a friend shared and read it early this morning and I'm sitting here with tears streaming because everything single thing you wrote it so amazingly true. Thank you for reminding me of all the things I love (and am so very thankful for) my husband for too.

    Debi @ That Crafty Lunch Lady

  11. Beautiful words to describe your love for each other. I pray for such love and trust. I loved it.

  12. Thank you for this detailed, sensitive accounting......married for 36 yrs. It was the second for each of us......25 years of this marriage was laced with infidelity, anger, depression. We had 2 children, commitment to raising them, homeschooling (not Christian most of the time) in addition to 3 children from my previous marriage. I have been in love with my husband always and could not leave him even tho hurting many of those years , then in 2001 we had the epic crisis and I surrendered my pride and fell on my face before God and long story short, God has restored and added to what the locusts ate......through Jesus we both have everything God intended for marriage .......it truly is a miracle......

  13. Hi, could I get some opinions regarding my situation..
    I'm a 26 year old male, engaged to be married early next year, we've been together for almost 3 years now (courting), I try to apply many of the items listed above (except items such as 9,10, 30..) but when I do, I'm told I'm "too mcuh" or I get brushed off, and since we begun to organise our wedding, I dont think 2 days went by without an argument, and many many mood swings.. I love her with everything that I am, I will always love her.. the thing is, I don't think I'm IN LOVE with her anymore..

    1. It's hard from the little bit of info you've given to know where the root of the problem(s) lie. You stated that you've been "courting" for 3 years. If this is in the "homeschooled" type of courtship, I'm wondering if maybe your wife-to-be has been taught to so suppress her emotional/ physical feelings, that she doesn't know it's ok to respond to proper affection and love. I was homeschooled, and thankful for it, but I had a lot of uncertainty as what was "allowed" when I was dating my husband, and it created problems in my affection to my husband AFTER we were married. Also, I would be sure that you have an HONEST, HARD CORE, GET TO THE HEART OF THE ISSUES, marriage councilor. If you don't discuss the vital and important aspects of your marriage now, you will most definitely be discussing them later-and it won't be pretty. Most importantly, are you both believers in the saving grace of Jesus Christ and do you both strive to follow Him in your daily lives? This is not as simplistic as it sounds. Marriage is truly about a giving of self and Christ and His love are the clearest examples of that. That said, if after pre marriage counseling, seeking Christ together, and honest open communication, the issues are still there, or if either of you are unwilling to do the things listed above, you both need to reconsider whether you should be married. Marriage is infinitely more wonderful and difficult than dating. So be sure you have chosen wisely.

  14. Married 41 years...he STILL gives me that special feeling.
    Love continues to grow with each passing year! :)

  15. your post made me realize I do not feel the same way. Maybe I should be single. Better than slowly dying with bitterness

  16. I love this post. It challenges me to keep encouraging my husband. It is the little moments that create intimacy. Great post.

  17. Great post. It brought me to tears. I love my husband so much. Last year however, I found out he had a brief affair. It hurt more than I can ever express and felt like I meant nothing. Without Jesus, I wouldn't have been able to forgive him and he is a much better husband now. Don't be afraid to seek advice from a pastor. That helped us.Also, LOTS of prayer and reading the Word together.


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