He says he doesn't understand why we need to have 100 pillows on our bed.
But, just for the record, there really aren't 100 - only 10.
I know because I counted them.
I also know this because I often find them flying at me while I'm trying to crawl into bed at night. Seriously. The guy will lie in wait until I'm finally ready to turn in….
Then that's when the pillows come soaring through the air.
It's like one of those games at the fair. I dodge the blitz the best I can, but the fact is he's got a pretty good arm. An awfully good arm, actually.
And no matter what the day has been like, I can't seem to help myself and I'll start shrieking. Our kids say they can hear me from across the house. That they can always tell when there's a party going on. And that they'll forever have memories of mama laughing while everyone else is heading for bed.
I've tried to convince them to feel sorry for me and imagine what it’s like to be dodging pillows while you're desperately searching for those cozy covers at the end of a long, hard day. But they inevitably take his side and find it all rather amusing too.
But you - you feel sorry for me don't you?
Good! Because now I'll tell you some of the ways I get my revenge. I'll crawl in next to him and put my icy little feet up against his warm back (hah!). Or the next morning I'll sneak in while he's taking a hot shower and suddenly turn the water to cold (how did he know it was me??). Or drop down a Screaming Monkey from the balcony when he's reading in his favorite armchair.
Oh yes, I have my ways.
So what does all this have to do with marriage?
Nothing.
And everything.
Would you believe those pillows have helped us to have a better marriage? I really think they have.
You see, my husband I both lead very busy lives. And we feel the pressures bearing down on us. Work, home, family, finances, ministry and more. And we can get waaaay too bogged down in it all. We can even forget that we like each other. That there's supposed to be a little fun in all this.
So he starts a pillow-fight. And then I laugh at his goofy jokes (although I'm known to laugh at my own too). Because let's face it....
Every good marriage could use a good laugh now and then.
So now, in all seriousness, let me encourage you to have some fun together:
Take a break occasionally. Forget your troubles, at least momentarily, and enjoy one another. Don't wait until all your problems are solved because that might not come for a long time.
Purpose to lighten up. Sometimes he and I go out somewhere and we forbid certain topics to come up. We pledge to put those aside those heavies and simply have a good time together.
Remember to laugh. I guess I could have taken offense the first time that pillow came hurling through the air. Instead of giggling like a girl. But I'm glad I did. It's more fun this way.
Consider the savings. Honestly? Laughter is way cheaper than therapy. I figure those pillow-fights have saved us hours of counseling. (Not sure about the Screaming Monkey though - that one might have added an hour or two).
I don't know how many pillows you happen to have decorating your bed right now, but it might be time to invest in a few more. Might need 10 or 100. Then see about getting a really good pillow-fight going.
Hope you enjoy some fun!
In His grace,
Lisa is the happily-ever-after wife of Matthew L. Jacobson, literary agent and writer, and together they enjoy raising 8 children. Please join her over at Club31Women, a blog for any wife, mother, or sister who is looking for Biblical encouragement and inspiration.
Visit Time-Warp Wife on facebook: Click here
If you would like to have Time-Warp Wife delivered to your inbox daily, simply click here: Subscribe to Time-Warp Wife
Check out my book, The Good Wife's Guide: Embracing Your Role as a Help Meet
This was awesome! Thank you for writing this! It made me realize I need to lighten up. It's just hard sometimes because sometimes I want to play when he doesn't and he sometimes wants to play when I don't. We have also let a lot of life get in the way here recently...we really do need to lighten up. Thanks again for blessing me with this!
ReplyDeleteYes! It's always a fork in the road to either laugh or lose it. My Matt does this thing where he flicks his fingers from my belt loop just so, and it sounds and feels like he just broke the belt loop. He's been doing this for 20 years, and I still respond with a solid slug on the arm. I'll add that when my Matt and I are silly together is when I notice our kids look the most happy and secure.
ReplyDeleteSo true! I remember, during a time when my husband seemed stressed and somewhat distant, one of my young daughters at the time saying we needed to watch a certain movie, because it always made Daddy laugh; she said she just loved to see him laugh.
DeleteI brought this up to her recently, and she said it's still that way. Life is just better when Dad is able to smile. She said she gets now that life is hard, but it make everyone feel relieved when the one they count on smiles.
Fun is important, but daily prayer is a key too. Sometimes the lack of joy goes deeper than stress and boredom.
So, like Christy said, if you want your kids to feel secure, laugh together! Relax and enjoy some simple pleasures.
Thanks for the post. Your articles have encouraged me so much. I love reading them every day. God bless you and your family.
ReplyDeletewe have found sword fighting with spoons while I'm making dinner quite enjoyable :-) The dog doesn't find it amusing, but Hubby sure does :-)
ReplyDeleteI love reading stories like these. Me and my soon to be hubby always wrestle at bed time, really more tickling me and me peeing in my pants than me holding him down. And I too think it's play therapy, which IS A LOT cheaper than real therapy. Oh and not to mention, I always seem to laugh when he farts <----shhhh don't tell him I said that lol <3
ReplyDeleteIt's good to have a reason to take a break and relax together, because it's so important. Thanks for the ideas on maintaining our friendship!
ReplyDeleteLOVE this post!
ReplyDeleteHubby and I play..."hide the toilet paper roll"...the kids think we're nuts, but it's just a stupid-silly little thing between him and I to keep things fun.
We try to out-due each other with hiding an empty toilet paper roll in the strangest places to surprise each other.
I think I am in the lead right now....
I flattened the roll as thin as I could get it, wrote "HAHA Gotcha'!!" on it, then tucked it inside his wallet between the bills for his lunch money. He said that I should have seen the look on the cashier's face when he pulled that out along with his money to hand it to her.
Yup, we're cool like that, lol!
Love it!
DeleteWe have a glass shower door. If I time it right, while he is washing his hair, I can sneak in and give him a start. It cheers me up, but might give him a heart attack...or so he says.
ReplyDeleteWe've been married for 35 years and our daughter and grandson (after her car accident) live with us......laughter is such a breaker of difficult times! I still hold his hand every chance I get and tell him every single day that "I'm crazy about him". I'm his biggest cheerleader and he's the man that absolutely won my heart! Share the laughter, share the tears and remember....there's 3 in a marriage, you as a couple and God.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad my husband (age 61) and I (age 54) continue to laugh each day. We giggle as we run around the house all the while yelling though our laugh, "Count the cost!" Which means remember there might be in the future either revenge or some innocent item (read here lamp, a drink left on the floor, etc) get broke or knocked over. We also try to outdo each other in finding "I love you more" cards. One of the most fun things we do is to secretly plan the anniversary trip - he one year, me the next. My most fun adventure took about a year to plan. My birthday is August 18, our Anniversary August 19th and I had always dreamed of spending my 50th birthday quietly on some secluded beach. So! that year I planned for Aruba. I also got a local radio station to play the Beach Boys "Kokomo" song at the exact time we would be on our way to the airport and then I could shout out "that's where we are going!!" We make it a pact that nobody - not our children, family or friends can know where we are going until we get there. We did elaborate things like that, and simple things like walking hand in hand through a park. Life is never, ever dull in our household. That said, we pray nightly together and one of our prayers is that Lord protect every facet of our marriage - our eye gate, our heart and mind.
ReplyDeleteThis is very funny and true. Gents (and ladies), try this one if your wife (or husband) might not like the idea of having pillows hurled at her as she is making her way to bed. I do this almost every night. I carefully stack the pillows on her side of the bed (It can get pretty tall with the fancy little roll pillow thingys) and once she is in range I push them all into her. It's just one of the ways we simply enjoy life together.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I have fun like that also. Laughter is very important in a marriage I think. I have one question though....what on earth is a screaming monkey???
ReplyDeleteI am so happy to see the my husband and I are not the only ones that are silly. We have only been married one year, but we have been together three. This is, for both of us, our second marriages. One of the things that is sooooo different in our marrige than the first time around is that we laugh. We laugh a lot. We play, chase each other around the house, pillow fights... in even the fanciest of restaurants he will blow his steaw paper in my ear. Yes, sometimes people look at us, but we dont care. And like one of the other comments said... it seems like when we are playing around is when it seems the kids are the happiest. Sometimes they join in too. We have 5, I brought 3 and he brought 2. We were meant to be a family because we are all like we belong together. Thank you for sharing! It was a very nice read!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for this post. It reminded me of happier times in our marriage. Playing together really is so important. We have let that slip. And while I would not do the pillow fight thing, there are other ways to keep love alive even after 30 years...
ReplyDeleteWater fights! We loved to have them until our first child came around and he would cry cause of the craziness. So we moved on to something less crazy.......
ReplyDelete