A marriage is two people on a life-long mission. Whether we notice it or not we all go into marriage with a goal or two in mind. And whatever that goal or mission is, will be different for every couple.
The key is to have the same goal as your husband, and the master key is to have a goal that's focused on the Lord.
A few years ago, when I was setting up a website, a friend asked me what my "mission statement" was.
"My mission?" I asked him, "Why do I need a mission?"
I should probably mention that this guy was a branding expert. He worked with some of the biggest companies out there formulating mission statements, but even so he knew that a little writer like me could benefit from some focus.
The thing I learned from him, is that a mission statement doesn't just help you formulate a focus, it helps you to keep that focus.
Every company I can think of has one. For example, Chick-fil-a's mission is, "Be America's best quick-service restaurant."
And their corporate purpose is, "To glorify God by being a faithful steward of all that is entrusted to us. To have a positive influence on all who come in contact with Chick-fil-A."
That definitely gives the company a clear focus and sets them apart from every other fast food restaurant in town!
I can also see where this would be an asset to them. In the heat of a media storm they can stand strong holding to the original purpose on which they established the company.
In the same way a united purpose is an asset to a couple. Our faith is a stronghold when our marriage is threatened.
A couple is definitely stronger when they're clearly united with the same purpose and the same set of values.
This is where a mission statement might be an asset. I got this idea from my friend Ruth who created a one for her family. I started looking around and thought, wait a minute, churches do this, big companies do this, bloggers do this, why don't marriages?
I loved the idea and couldn't wait to get started on one of my own. Would you like to make one too? If so, here's a basic outline. Get together with your husband, pray about the things you want to include, and have fun putting it together!
1. Start with a mission. It can be one line or several. Ours is "To have a Christ-centered marriage that brings glory to God through the way that we love and the way that we live. That we would be servants of grace who give more than we're given and forgive before we're forgiven."
I encourage you to take this section of your statement and copy it onto a small piece of paper that you can keep out in the open as a constant reminder. If you don't know what to write as your mission, feel free to use the one I have here. You can print out the graphic above or create your own, but also record your mission on the statement itself.
2. List your values. These are things that are important to you as a couple. For example, they might be things like going to bed together at the same time every night, getting up together every morning, turning the TV off at a certain time, and reading the Bible together every day.
3. List your goals or dreams. This could included things like saving for college, retiring young, setting up a ministry, homeschooling your children, etc. What's interesting about this list is that it can also become a source of prayer for your marriage as you dream about the future together.
The purpose of the mission statement is to keep you focused on those things that are important to your marriage and keep it free from distraction. Reflect on it often and bring things to prayer if you find that you're veering off track.
You might decide to change some things in a year or so, and that's okay too. The important thing is that you keep your marriage holy and acceptable to God.
You are loved by an almighty God,
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Really interesting idea. I just wrote about creating a shared vision in marriage, and I guess this is the same thing. My husband and I have been married for 14 years this week and I think having something like this may have helped along the journey. :)
ReplyDeleteThis is not very relevant to this post, but I wonder if you may remember me from a while back. I was in a horrible marriage and ready to walk out after 18 years of very little harmony and peace in our marriage. I was ready to just be single. God worked a miracle WAY BEYOND what I could ever have asked or dreamed of. My husband is now the husband of any woman's dreams.... He is reading me scripture every night, praying with me, and spoiling me to death, serving me, helping me in the home. Tears threaten to fall as I type this bounty of God's kindness after I had lost all hope and given up..... He is greatly to be praised and thanked. :'( I don't deserve a bit of it.
ReplyDeleteIt is very sad that you consider doing ministry together merely one option among many. Jesus commanded every Christian to go into all the world spreading the Gospel, baptizing, and teaching them to obey. Evangelism should be in every Christian marriage's mission statement, or something is severely mistaken.
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