Thursday, October 17, 2013

Exercise the Virtue of Self Control and Start Changing Today


Since we're discussing the virtue of self-control let's also take a look at self-control (temperance) as a fruit of the Spirit.

The question we should look at is this: If self-control is a fruit of the Spirit, wouldn't it automatically come natural to those who belong to God?

The Bible tells us that those who belong to God have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. (Galatians 5:24) Those who walk in the Spirit walk according to the wisdom they've been given. In other words they make choices day after day to put away sin. With that said, let's praise God for His unfailing grace. Putting down my flesh is a daily process, and I'm no where near completion. 

Putting away sin is more than a decision, it calls for a measure of self-control. Without conviction however, that self-control won't be worth much. The Spirit gives us strength for the journey.

Let me give you an example. During my twenties I started struggling with my weight. I went from a 98 pound bride to a 150 pound 30-something-year-old within ten years. I'm short so the extra bit of weight was uncomfortable and I was into plus-sized clothing. I tried everything to take off the weight, but nothing would stick.

Self-control didn't work. I mean it did for a while, but it never had the long-lasting affect I was looking for.

One day it hit me. The problem? I wasn't convicted. I'd go for about three days controlling my appetite, but the moment the arguments set in (and they always did) I had nothing to fall back on. Aside from the fact that I wanted to lose a few pounds there wasn't any valid reason I could think of for sticking to the plan.

That is until I started to study God's Word. I mean really dig in. After finishing the Bible, I read it again, and again, and again, and again... then I went to the Greek and read that again and again and again. I must have gone through the entire Bible about six-eight times that year. I was hungry for the Word, but more importantly I was convicted.

Scripture after scripture talked about the virtue of self control. It talked about controlling our appetites, about greed, and how our bodies are temples of the Holy Ghost. It talked about crucifying the flesh and anything else that controls you. 

There isn't anything wrong with eating a Twinkie at 2:00 am, but the question to ask yourself is, do you control your appetite or does it control you?

Here's a little wisdom from Paul. He's talking about the freedom we have in Christ:
"Everything is permissible for me"--but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"--but I will not be mastered by anything. - 1 Corinthians 6:12, NIV
The same could be said about anything in your life. Ask yourself if you're in control, or you're being controlled.

We serve a God Who wants our adoration. He wants our hearts in their entirety. If we are mastered by the things of this world, we're sharing our heart with another.

That deep conviction was life changing for me. I lost 40 pounds and kept if off for over a decade. Day after day, I made wise choices and I kept making wise choices even when the going was tough.

Why I'm overweight now is a combination of two things. One is that I have this crazy medication for my tremors that slows down my body. I'm exhausted most of the time and all I want to do is sleep. Without it I shake--a lot. One year I was exercising every day, the next I was struggling to stay awake.

The other reason--and this is of most importance to me--is that this conviction hasn't been as real to me as it once was. I've let things slip. I know that if I get back to exercising every day that I'll have more energy, and I know that eating better and drinking less caffeine will make a difference too. Like Paul says in Romans 7:15, "For what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I."

This is an area of my life that I need to give up to God. I need to trust His wisdom that says, everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial. I need to exercise this area of my life until my Spirit is ruling the flesh. Maybe I can't do everything I used to do, but I definitely can make some changes.

This isn't easy to talk about. It's embarrassing in fact. But the truth is that appetite is a struggle so many of us are wrestling with.

We know what is good, what is right, and what is true, but day after day we follow the lust of the flesh that leads to more junk in the trunk.

The bottom line is that you're not struggling with food. You're struggling with self-control. Your flesh is at war with your Spirit. 

Which one will win? 

The one that you feed. 

As for you skinny girls, you're not off the hook. The same principle applies to each and every one of us, as we struggle with self-control in different areas. If we're not ruled by the Spirit we're being ruled by the flesh.

And so we see that the fruit of self-control is the result of a person who is walking in virtue by making daily decisions to put down the flesh. She's equipped with wisdom, and she's down on her knees in prayer.

A virtuous woman isn't ruled by her passions, she passionately pursues an incomparable God. She is strong because she knows that she can do what she wants, but she chooses to do that which is good.

As I'm writing this, I feel the hand of God gently tug on my heart. He's speaking to me as He's speaking to you. These words aren't solely for the purpose of writing, but rather that the reader as well as the author will take them to heart, draw closer to Him, exercise virtue, and start changing today.

Also see:
The schedule for this series
Week 1: Introduction
Week 2 - Purity Pt. 1
Week 2 - Purity Pt. 2
Week 3 - Self Control Pt. 1
Week 3 - Self Control Pt. 2
Week 4 - Discussing the Virtue of Love

You are loved by an almighty God,



Visit Time-Warp Wife on facebook: Click here

If you would like to have Time-Warp Wife delivered to your inbox daily, simply click here: Subscribe to Time-Warp Wife

Check out my book, The Good Wife's Guide: Embracing Your Role as a Help Meet


Join us tonight (Oct.17) for another webcast!
9pm CT/10pm ET


Tonight, our keynote speaker will be Ruth from The Better Mom!
I'll be joining her on the couch afterward along with Angela from Good Morning Girls and our host, Courtney from Women Living Well.

You'll find the webcast at: WomenLivingWell.TV


Join us one hour before the webcast
for a facebook party!
8pm CT/9pm ET

This week we're meeting over at The Better Mom's Facebook Page

She'll be giving away these prizes: 

The complete nine-season DVD set of Little House on the Prairie sponsored by ArtBookBindery.com (my husband's awesome company!) 



and...
3 Copies of Women Living Well by Courtney Joseph
2 Copies of Homespun Memories for the Heart by Karen Ehman
2 $25 gift certificates for The Rusted Chain
A Child Training Bible Set and Virtue Training Set from Child Training Bible
10 e Book (PDF)  copies of the Good Wife’s Guide by me!

22 comments:

  1. Thank you for sharing such an intimate struggle. Especially the fact that you continue to struggle! This is exactly what I needed to hear and having the scriptures to carve into my heart as well. Thank you again!
    Lynn

    ReplyDelete
  2. Darlene, I was praying about this very thing this morning. I literally asked God to convict me. Thank you for being so open and vulnerable. I too struggle with my weight and this post is such an encouragement. But there are other areas in my life that I struggle with that are from this same root. They are areas that bring me much shame, so I keep them hidden from friends and family, continually praying, but all the time white knuckling it, trying to do it on my on. Thank you for the reminder that doing my part means reaching for the word.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thank you Darlene! Or I should say - thank You Lord! :) As we passionately pursue the Lord, all these worldly things will fade away. We will have peace in Him and passion for Him instead of lusting after everything else. Thank you for the much needed reminder. Getting in gear - B

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wonderful post Darlene! I have struggled and continue to struggle with my weight for years. I too gained weight while I was taking cortisone for years. But you are absolutely right, we must fight the flesh and let the Spirit take over.We must hunger and thirst for Him more. My prayers are with you! Have a blessed day!!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. This article could not have been better timed! thank you so much for listening to the Lord. Last night I was laying in bed, craving something. Anything, probably the mint malono cookies and wheat thins in my pantry, I wasn't hungry. I wasn't tired. I was bored. I laid in bed reminding myself - "Emily, You got married 2 months ago and this "happy weight" is not making you happy. You feel miserable and fat. DO NOt get out of bed. you will not eat anything." I really struggled with just staying in bed,, not eating it. I know i need to make changes in my life and not just with my diet. Lots of little things that make me unhappy, Things I do that make me feel awful immediately following it. I know all I have to do is say no but sometimes it is just so hard. So thank you for choosing today to post this. I needed it and I hope it helps me get convicted for change.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thank you for sharing. I love how God uses us as He teaches us.

    ReplyDelete
  7. The Lord has been continually and consistently bringing this topic forward to me everywhere I turn it seems. I have never truly viewed my love of food as sin until recently- and now I see it is an inordinate love. Thank you for being open and honest about your struggle; this post has truly blessed me and I am positive it will bless so many others!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thank you for opening up about this. It's a message that is so needed! I, too, struggled in the same way and it is always a matter of self-control and discipline. I think with food and exercise, it is hugely a matter of surrendering and rejecting the lie that being unhealthy and addicted to food is 'normal'. Yes, unfortunately, in the West, it is. But, in many places on earth, the people struggle to eat at all, they never have the chance to ever over-eat. About 6 months ago, I was 40 lbs heavier than I am now. I was depressed, felt tired all the time, and knew food (sugar) had control over me. I made a decision to ditch sugar and I couldn't believe how it changed my moods, my outlook, and I dropped 10 lbs in a couple weeks. I then started cutting out excessive fat and salt. And slowly, our family refined the way we eat and are not Vegan! We feel a thousand times better than we did a year ago and we are still seeking God's direction for us in this way. The best thing? I no longer am addicted to sugar and salt. God is able!!! We can be addicted to so many things... I think internet is a huge one for Moms these days!!! xo Cassandra @ http://www.theunpluggedfamily.com

    ReplyDelete
  9. Dear Darlene,

    This is a struggle I have had myself for years and years. It has just been the last few years that I've been very convicted about gluttony and my lack of self control. I'm working as my kids are napping (I work from home) and this is the time I usually struggle with overeating. Instead of going to the pantry, I clicked on your blog instead. I'm so thankful I did. Thank you for having the courage to share!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I've felt as though I'm full of acid lately, struggling and wanting to have more self control but instead spewing acid when I get jostled, which is quite frequent with 4 kids. I've been praying for help yet not always convicted to seek that which i need to change, which is to feed my Soul, not my flesh. Thank you for this. I needed to hear it and understand why I am struggling.

    ReplyDelete
  11. You are definitely not alone in this struggle. I battled my weight for years, I had calorie contents memorized. I kept praying to God why is this so hard for me. At the same time despite obtaining a healthy weight for my frame my health was failing quickly, you mentioned about tremors. I wanted so badly to get off of medication. He showed me that if I approach food from a healing aspect to reverse my need for medication then it would also end my battle with weight. And you will never hear this from main medical, but that extra weight you carry is actually saving your body from further damage. It is doing what it should, and storing the junk that we put in away from our vital organs. The people that can eat what ever and never gain a pound are likely at a disadvantage because their bodies are not doing that protective mechanism. So yes the weight is uncomfortable, but it is actually protecting you. I have walked a hard road of healing. And my prayer for you is that you begin to find out the real reason your body is this way. Study food cravings and what they mean, mineral deficiencies are mistaken for disease. It could be that tremor you have is linked to a magnesium deficiency. So many of us are deficient because the soil our food is grown on is deplete of vital minerals, and has been for decades. We are from the earth and we need it to survive. Take you food journey back to the garden and eat as Adam and Eve would have. Clean your body through detoxification, paying specific attention to your liver. When it is congested and not functioning properly it can lead to weight gain or loss. Praying to God is your answer, and follow Him with your heart. He will never lead you wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Well I just want to say I think you're beautiful. That had to be said. I believe you really got to the root of being overweight. For many, including myself, it's ALL about self control. You mentioned a verse that is also mentioned in Lysa Terkeurst's book, Made to Crave. The one that says "everything is permissable, but not everything is beneficial". This has helped me so many times. I'm in a season where I gained back weight, and I see I let self control go out the door. Thank you because this had motivated and re-charged me to keep going with focusing on the real importance of the fruit of self control and God's call for us to do so.

    ReplyDelete
  13. So good! I really needed this! Thank you for your vulnerability and bringing the truth to us as the Lord speaks to you! I really need to work on this too, I totally relate! Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I am so grateful for this message and all those before it. I desire to be the wife and mother God has called me to be. I am however concerned I missed the 1st part of this message of self-control. I've looked in the archives and can not find anything that you wrote earlier in the week on self-control. Is this part 2 on self-control or only the first?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry I didn't include the table of contents or link at the bottom. Here it is:

      http://www.time-warp-wife.blogspot.ca/2013/10/we-can-stop-and-we-will-stop-and-titus.html

      Delete
  15. Darlene, thank you so much for this timely word. I was encouraged to bring my compulsions and fetishes before the Lord, to submit to Him and allow Him to be the only KING of my heart! And I feel so freed to rise up and fly again. I was also able to encourage my sister this morning, to bless her with your words of encouragement. So, thank you ever so much for allowing the Lord to use you in this way. You are a blessing!

    ReplyDelete
  16. I am one of those annoying women who can eat a bag of chips by myself every day and never gain an ounce. As you say though, I am not off the hook. God wants me to take care of myself regardless of what the scale says, and what I put into my body matters. I am also a recovered anorexic and bulimic, so even though I am fit and lean, it is a daily struggle to eat, to eat the right things, and to keep them down. It is a daily battle not to beat myself up for missing a workout; I have to remind myself that exercise is a gift to me, not a master; and sometimes it is hard to enjoy certain foods that are okay to indulge in once in a while because there is always a little voice telling me I don't deserve it and that I am a cow. Please don't be embarrassed, Darlene. I thank God that He has given you the courage to be honest with us, so that together we can be victorious in living the life He intended. I remind myself that taking care of my health is honouring the gifts that God has given to me that are my life, my family and the purpose He has for me. Thank you for this post. You are a beautiful woman and His glory shines through you every time you write.

    ReplyDelete
  17. i feel like I missed the first part of this message on self-control and can not find it anywhere. Can someone help me with this? I am enjoying this series so much.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, sorry. Normally I put the table of contents at the end. I forgot to do that with this one. Here it is:

      http://www.time-warp-wife.blogspot.ca/2013/10/we-can-stop-and-we-will-stop-and-titus.html

      Delete
  18. I've been browsing my bookshelves for a book to help me get certain areas of my life back on track. I even started one only to put it down after reading something unscriptural. It took your post to get me to realize that God has been telling me to GET BACK INTO CONSISTENT IN DEPTH BIBLE STUDY.

    Thank you for the timely words.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Wow, so right on. I am a fish out of water, pressing forward to the living fountain, the closer I get the more I'm flopping. I know there is victory when I dive fully in. As I breathe another breath, the war is not over.

    ReplyDelete


I'm grateful that you have stopped in here today, and blessed by your presence.



While I encourage readers to have open discussion and differing opinions any comments that I deem as rude, distasteful, or merely for the purpose of stirring up debate will be deleted. In other words--play nice. ;)


Whether you are a first time visitor or a long-time reader. You are welcome here!